Men don’t realize that if we’re sleeping with them on the first date, we’re probably not interested in seeing them again either. - Chelsea Handler
You know you're a hot mess when the only person buying you drinks all night is yourself. - Chelsea Handler
This kind of mixing of ingredients happens all the time at fast-food places... You know when you order french fries and there's a rogue onion ring at the bottom. You know, at first you're alarmed but you eat it. It all comes from the same place! You just have to go for it. - Chelsea Handler